Yesterday was my brother’s birthday. I was talking with him on the phone in our family room. Doug shut the bedroom door. (During this time I’m sleeping in the guest room so that both of us get the rest we need.) I never gave it another thought when Doug shut his door. I kept on talking.
I checked on Doug once during the night but I guess it wasn’t the right time. This morning when I heard him stirring I went in to ask what he felt like having for breakfast. He told he had a horrible night. I’ll spare you the details but he probably lost his extra 7 pounds….
He should have had his nausea medication but didn’t call to me to ask for it. He was too sick plus he told me he didn’t want to interfere with my rest. I told him that I am here for him and rest comes to me when needed. I don’t want him to get dehydrated or have to go into the hospital again if we can prevent it.
Because of his condition I called the weekend on-call number to ask which of the three nausea meds I should give him. Doug described his night to the Doctor and we started the nausea pills and other items he recommended. I am recording his fluid intake and gently forcing him to drink. He has been sleeping most of today. He didn’t get much rest last night.
He says he’s learned his lesson and knows he needs to call me. We have a bell he can ring and I’d be by his side in a second. He just has to decide to use it.
So today I’m being quiet. I know he was disappointed he didn’t just sail right through the chemo. I’m sure the clinic team knew he wouldn’t and had us prepared with the proper medication. He just has to decide to do what they tell him to do.
He says he feels much better this afternoon but continues to nap. He hates how weak he is feeling because he has memory of that feeling from before. I remind him that he did get stronger and he will again.
I believe were given two days “off” this weekend because the team at the clinic knows the pattern and knew we would need them. While I don’t agree with Doug that it is wise to care for him self throughout the night at home after a heavy dose of chemo, I realize he did it unselfishly because he wanted me to get my rest. He has always been considerate of me throughout our married life but I told him this is not the time to think of my needs. It's time for him to let me take care of him.
~Carole
